Baby's day out
by Kristina Andersson
Summary: Recess, daughter of Cupid and Strife tries to find out something very important. Part of the Hera's Curse AU. Mention of m/m pairing


Title: Baby's day out  
  
Author: Kris Andersson  
  
Shanna_se@yahoo.se  
  
Archive: AJCS, anyone else, just let me know so I can brag.  
  
Rating: G  
  
Category: Hera's curse AU  
  
Summary: Recess tries to find out something very important.  
  
An answer to Scorpio's request for stories she could read to her son.  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters from 'Xena: Warrior Princess' or 'Hercules: The Legendary Journeys'. If I did, the shows would be named 'The War God and Joxer the Mighty' and 'Love and Mischief' and be quite different…  
  
Scorpio owns Recess and this AU.  
  
Big hugs and thank yous to my beta Christine.  
  
  
  
  
  
Hera's Curse AU  
  
Baby's day out  
  
  
  
Recess sat on a chair and pouted. She was bored.  
  
Joxer had promised to teach her to spell stupid. But now he had to help Bliss clean up his mess. Who would have thought that tapestries burned that quickly? Well, Bliss shouldn't have taken her up on that double dare. He'd never done what she told him to do before, so why did he start now?  
  
"Stupid fireball, and stupid Bliss," she mumbled and continued to kick the chair's legs.  
  
Joxer had promised. She really wanted to learn it before Daddy and Dad Strife came home from that job they were doing for Zeus.  
  
She'd asked Grandpa Ares and he'd mumbled something like stupid was spelled H-e-r-c-u-l-e-s, but since Joxer had given Grandpa that look that said 'don't tell the children a bunch of nonsense', Recess didn't really believe him.  
  
She sighed, Joxer and Bliss was still busy cleaning up Grandma 'Dite's wall. They weren't very good at it. Instead of its usual pink, it was grayish. The cleaning would take a while.  
  
Maybe someone else could help her with the spelling? Didn't Grandma 'Dite have a portal to the mortal realm somewhere here in her temple? Yes, she did. Recess remembered. She'd once got to tag along when Grandma brought Bliss to visit his mother. The lady Dad Strife sometimes called Psycho when Bliss wasn't around.  
  
The portal was behind the paint room. Grandma 'Dite insisted on that it wasn't paint, it was make up. But Recess knew it was paint 'cause Unc' Hermes hadn't made it up. She'd asked him. And Dad Strife had once said that Unc' Hermes always made things up so he should know.  
  
Unc' Hermes had said that maybe Grandma was a bit embarrassed to admit she played with paint at her age. Recess would never be so old that she was embarrassed to admit she liked to paint. It was so much fun! She couldn't understand why Grandma painted her face though. The walls were a lot better. Or one of Grandpa Zeus' scrolls.  
  
She jumped down from the chair and looked at Bliss and Joxer. They looked so busy; she didn't want to disturb them just to let them know she left for the mortal realm. They probably wouldn't even notice she's been gone. All she had to do was to find a mortal that could spell stupid. How hard could it be? She'd be back in minutes. Just so she wouldn't bother Bliss and Joxer, working so hard, she sneaked very quietly into the paint room.  
  
Now, who in the mortal realm would know how to spell stupid, and not bother to tell Daddy and Dad Strife she's been there? They worried so much. Unnecessary, she could take care of herself! She wasn't a baby anymore. She was four years old!.  
  
She giggled, "Unc' Auto, of course!" She jumped through the portal with a squeal of joy.  
  
********************  
  
Autolycus, King of Thieves closed his eyes and tried to regain his balance. With all the traps in the room, the only way to the gem was by air. Which is why he hanged in a contraption of ropes and leather several feet off the floor. Carefully swinging back and forward, trying to seize the diamond.  
  
This took concentration and balance, so what he didn't need was hearing a merry little voice asking, "Watcha doing, Unc' Auto?"  
  
He closed his eyes again. When he opened them she would be gone and he would understand that she was only an illusion caused of too much work.  
  
He opened his eyes again. Nope, she was still there. Hovering in the air beside him, cute as a button with big brown eyes and black hair. Flopping her black wings.  
  
He sighed, "Hi, Recess. Does your daddies know that you are here?"  
  
"Nope!" she admitted cheerfully. "They are working and Joxer is busy cleaning Grandma's walls."  
  
"Oh," just my luck, he thought for himself, absentmindedly wondering why Joxer was cleaning Aphrodite's walls, and then decided that he probably didn't want to know.  
  
"Whatcha doing?" she asked again hovering closer.  
  
"I'm trying to get the treasure, so why don't you go back to Olympus…"  
  
"This one?" she asked and grabbed the diamond.  
  
"Nooo!" Autolycus wailed as he heard the alarm going off. Grabbing one of the ropes, he was soon free from his contraption. He quickly grabbed Recess by the hand, putting the gem in a pouch on his belt. "Come on, girl! We have to run so they don't catch us!" He started to run, dragging the little Goddess behind him.  
  
"Cool! Hide and Seek!" she laughed.  
  
Running down the corridor, Auto heard the guards closing in. "In here!" he ordered.  
  
The room was probably a nursery, and full with toys. A huge toy fort stood in a corner. Auto hurried and hid behind it. Clutching Recess near him. "Don't say a word," he hissed.  
  
They ducked as a guard opened the door and looked in. "No one in here," he said and left.  
  
Auto let out a relived sigh. "That was close," he said and looked down on Recess. "Say, how good are you on that God thing?"  
  
"What God thing?" she asked confused.  
  
"The disappearing and reappearing somewhere else at will."  
  
"Oh, *that* God thing." Recess gave him a mischievous grin that clearly stated who one of her fathers was. "A lot better than Daddy and Dad Strife thinks I am. I can get us out of here if you want. But not far. I'm not that strong yet."  
  
"Can you get us to the park on the other side of town?" Auto asked eagerly.  
  
"Yeah, probably." Recess nodded.  
  
"Great! Do your thing, Kid!" Auto ordered.  
  
A couple of seconds later they stood in a park. "Wohoo!" Recess cheered and started to jump up and down. "It worked!"  
  
"What do you mean, 'It worked'?" Autolycus asked. "You said you could do this!"  
  
"And I could! It's just that I've never traveled with a mortal before. I carried a doll once and it went pouf, and after that Daddy wouldn't let me practice on mortals." Recess explained.  
  
Auto looked pale and sat down.  
  
"Oh, don't take it so seriously! It worked didn't it?" Recess sat down next to him and gave him a hug.  
  
"Yes, it did, thank you Zeus." He answered and had his usual smirk again. "And we made it out with the treasure, another triumph for Autolycus, King of Thieves!" He bragged and opened the pouch. And stared at the toy soldier he suddenly held in his hand. "Where is the diamond?" he whispered hoarsely.  
  
"Oh, I threw that ugly stone away," Recess shrugged. "Isn't this a much better treasure than a stupid stone? Look, you can move his arms!" she demonstrated.  
  
Auto just stared at her and whimpered a bit.  
  
"Oh, I almost forgot! Do you know how to spell stupid?" she asked.  
  
Auto gave out a moan and continued to stare out in space.  
  
"Hello?" she waved her hand in front of his face. No reaction. "I guess he became too happy for the toy soldier," she mused.  
  
Maybe he was like Grandma 'Dite embarrassed to play with toys. It was probably best if she left Unc' Auto alone with his new toy. Whispering a soft "Goodbye," she left the park.  
  
*****************  
  
Recess went to a nice meadow to think. Who else could help her? Maybe Auntie Xena, or Auntie Gabby. She was always writing on her scrolls, she should know how to spell stupid.  
  
But it probably was too early to visit again. Grandpa Ares had once said that mortals needed at least a month's recovery after a visit from Bliss and her. And Xena had seemed a bit upset.  
  
But how could she and Bliss know that horses didn't need to shave? God's didn't need to, but Joxer did. And he had told them all mortals had to, practically every day. And Argo was mortal…  
  
So after Joxer had shown them both how to shave and gone to tend to some private business behind some trees, they'd decided to help Xena as a 'thank you for letting us camp with you for a night' thing. So they shaved Argo.  
  
Recess really didn't understand what all the fuss was about. She thought that Argo looked cool without a mane or tail. But it was best not to risk it. Xena was definitely a person who would run and tell Recess' parents she's been there as soon as she got a chance. But who else?  
  
She was brought out of her thoughts when she heard laughter. A bunch of kids came running to the meadow.  
  
A blond boy a couple of years older ran up to her, "Hello," he said.  
  
"Hey," Recess answered.  
  
"You're new around here," the boy stated.  
  
"Yes, I am Recess," she answered.  
  
"Strange name. I'm Gerrom," the boy said and then looked at Recess' wings. "I've never seen anyone with wings before."  
  
"Really? My Daddy and my brother got them too."  
  
"Cool. Want to play with us?" Gerrom asked. "We're going to play farm. You can be one of the animals if you like."  
  
"Sure!" Recess grinned and followed the boy back to the others.  
  
"This is Recess," he introduced her, "She want's to play with us, her Dad and brother has wings too and she's agreed to be an animal"  
  
"Can I be a horse?" Recess asked after the other children had told her their names.  
  
"You can't be a horse," a little girl called Riiva protested. "You've got wings! You can be a chicken," she suggested.  
  
"No," Recess shook her head and pouted. "My Grandma 'Ris says that being a chicken isn't fun." Then she cheered up; "I can be a Pegasus! They have wings."  
  
"Ok, then that's settled. Recess is a Pegasus." Gerrom decided and glared at the rest, daring Riiva to object.  
  
"Sure," she said and silently muttered, "but what a Pegasus would do on a farm, I can't understand."  
  
****************  
  
They played for hours, and Recess had so much fun she forgot to ask if anyone could spell  
  
stupid.  
  
Suddenly an older boy arrived, "Ok, stop your silly game. We're going to play war now!" he ordered with a sneer.  
  
The other children just sighed and started to form two armies. Recess just stared at the boy. "Who are you to come and tell us what to play?" she asked angrily. "I want to continue playing Farm! And by the look of the others faces, the others want that too."  
  
The boy sneered at her, "I'm Darius, and the other kids do as they're told. My father is the warlord that runs things around here." He glared at the other children who covered under his look, "So you guys better do as I say, or else…" He turned back to Recess, "Since you're new here, I'm going to let this go. But you better learn that I run the show around here, and since I want to play war, you're going to play war. Cause I'm better than you, I'm even dedicated to Ares now. The ceremony was last week."  
  
"Ooh, The God of War and your father will be so proud that you've manage to bully a bunch of kids around. *Not!* Pick on someone your own size!" Recess demanded.  
  
"Why, it's so much more fun to pick on you. What kind of kid has wings anyway? Is your mommy a bird, Birdbrain?" Darius sneered.  
  
The children stood silently and followed the two's verbal sparring match, looking at whoever talked and silently hoped Recess would win, or at least not get beaten up.  
  
"I don't have a mommy, I have two daddies instead." Recess answered coolly.  
  
"That's even stranger. I bet my God Ares doesn't like that. Besides, are you stupid? Everyone has a mother." Darius stated starting to get really angry. This child was different from the others. She wasn't scared of him. He didn't understand her; and what he didn't understand, he wanted to destroy. She was a treat. "Maybe she just didn't want you. I sure wouldn't,  
  
Chicken," he taunted her.  
  
"Stupid? You're calling *me* stupid," she suddenly got a calculating look in her eyes. "I bet you can't even *spell* stupid!" she said provokingly.  
  
"Of course I can!" he huffed. "S-t-u-p-i-d" he spelled triumphal. "Beat that, little Baby."  
  
Recess started to jump up and down, cheering madly. "I've figured it out! I can spell stupid!" she laughed. "I'm not a baby!" she replied absentmindedly in the middle of her celebration and then continued with, "I did it! I'm so happy!"  
  
"I'm so glad you're happy," a grown up voice said. "But Joxer has been half to Hades worrying about you."  
  
Recess froze, closed her eyes, turned around to the place of the sound of the voice and slowly opened her eyes. Yep. She was *so* busted.  
  
"Hi Grandpa!" she said cheerfully and waved.  
  
Darius paled, he recognized the black clad stranger. Oh my God's, he wailed inside, I've just insulted Ares' grand daughter.  
  
"Don't hi Grandpa me, young lady. What do you have to say for yourself, Baby?  
  
"I'm *not* a baby," she said sullenly not looking Ares in the face.  
  
"Oh really? Because only a baby who didn't know better could have frightened Joxer like that by accident. So I guess you hurt Jox on purpose. And therefore have to be punished for hurting him intentionally…"  
  
Recess chin shivered, and there were tears in her big brown eyes, "I… I didn't mean to scare him," she sobbed. "I love Joxer. I just wanted to learn to spell stupid and he was busy helping Bliss. I'm so sorry. I guess I'm not as grown up as I thought," she said sadly, almost not acting at all.  
  
Ares looked at his grand daughter. It was impossible to be mad at her for long. "You'll be grounded in a temple for three days and you will apologize to Joxer," he said sternly. And had is arms full of a hugging little Goddess a moment after.  
  
"Oh thank you, Grandpa! I'm so glad you still love me!" she squealed, expertly manipulating him.  
  
Ares of course realized she was playing him, but she was so darn cute so he just hugged her back and gently said, "Say goodbye to your new friends, Recess."  
  
"Bye all," she waved. "I'll ask my daddies if my brother Bliss and I can come and play sometime."  
  
The children had at last realized that they were in the presence of two gods and just nodded weakly.  
  
Ares started to get ready to leave, but turned to the bully. "Darius, son of Morius. You were dedicated to me recently, and yet you bully younger children instead of practicing to be a good warrior. A good warrior doesn't pick on those that are weaker. They pick on other warriors. And war is not a game. Something your father should have thought you years ago. I guess I have to have a little talk with him about your education." He turned to the other children. "When his new schedule is done, I doubt he'll have the time to bother you anymore."  
  
Darius turned even whiter and fainted.  
  
"Just don't be too hard on him, Grandfather." Recess said, "He *did* teach me how to spell stupid after all."  
  
"I don't think that you should be the one trying to talk someone out of some disciplining right now, Pumpkin. By the way, what on Earth did you do to Autolycus?"  
  
They disappeared in a shimmer. The sound of Recess giggle lingered in the air.  
  
  
  
THE END 


End file.
